And then there was five...

It's that time again for me to get sentimental before baby comes. I recently reread the post I made about the unknown of going from one child to two. Oh how I was so emotional about it! I'm emotional this time but not as much. Because I see how much I came to love Easton, immediately, and now I cant imagine life without him (I can remember time without him when it was just Natalie, but I cant imagine life without him in it.) And I know that's exactly how this will be with our new baby. It will be hard to remember the times when it was just Natalie and Easton and baby 3 didn't exist. Or even when it was just our Natalie! Yes pictures help, but the love you have for your children makes it hard to imagine life without them in any aspect. 


When walking around a baby store with Jacob while we looked at stuff he said, "Once we have this baby won't it be weird how it will be hard to fathom life without them here, yet there was all these years and memories as a family without them?" It's so true! But the love you have for your children is what knits a family together instantly.We will look back at this time before baby 3, remembering how much we wondered what baby was, how we went back and forth from girl to boy, and boy to girl, wondering if we were going to be blessed with another son or another daughter, and wondering exactly how our family dynamic would change. 


As the time being pregnant is nearing the end, I always seem to get emotional about so many things. I keep telling myself this was silly because this is the THIRD time I'm doing this. This isn't our first child nor is this our first time going from one kid to two. We have one of each, we've done this twice before, why I am so emotional all over again? Maybe because we've become accustomed to the way things have been with Natalie and Easton and their needs, and life has become easier for us with them being older now. Maybe because Easton will no longer be my baby. Maybe because one of them will no longer be the "only girl" or the "only boy". Learning to adjust to have 2 of the same gender for us is going to be fun to see how that all works. I've always wondered what that would be like and we are soon to find out! We will no longer have our one daughter and one son, but two of the same that will also be so different from each other, because they are their own little person too. It's so exciting!


Having a baby feels like starting over in a way in a lot of areas, probably because you are! Newborn stage, crawling, walking, teething, milk to solids, diaper to pull ups, talking, first illnesses, first boo-boos, and much more. But it's kind of nice since we had a break from the baby and toddler stage...instead of feeling like we never left it. We got to have a break and enjoy our older kiddos experiencing things with them as they grew. Having only 1 baby and then 1 toddler in the house seems like so much more fun (and easier)! I know big sister and brother are going to be the best! And I can't wait to see them all interact with each other.


And most importantly we are in charge of another little soul to prepare for Heaven. That task is daunting and humbling at the same time. We don't take parenting lightly. It's our job to train up our three children to know the Word, to know God and the love He has for them, and to long to become a faithful, Christian. God chose us to raise these children in the world that we live in today. And at times that's a scary thought! I pray that they see us as the Christian parents, and Christian husband and wife that God commands us to be. I pray we strive to be the best examples to them. I pray that they know we are not perfect by any means, and that when they see us struggle, that they then see us come out stronger than before, because with Christ all things are possible. I pray that they are the shining light in the world to their friends; that they are the friends that are different and stand out. I pray they will learn how to be in the world and not of the world. I know Jacob and I have many prayers for our kids and our family, and these are just a few.


This pregnancy has been a rollercoaster of a ride to say the least. The few who know the many details know how hard it has been on me this time around. All my muscles are looser and since I'm "blessed" with flexibility, I get to suffer more being pregnant the chiropractor said. My back and pelvis have been in some terrible pain from so early on, that I was literally scared and dreaded the end of the last few weeks just knowing the agony I would be in. The random throwing up and terrible nausea in the beginning is normal but never fun. I've missed being able to eat cereal or chew gum or have sugar. Yes cereal is one of my favorite snacks yet it's made me throw up so many times...sometimes I eat it anyway and battle the nausea later. I'm ready to eat it and enjoy it every time. I've was sick with a stomach virus and needed fluids back when I was 34 weeks, fun times. 


The belly heaviness has been pretty painful. Everyone thinks I'm carrying high but they can't truly see what I see...my belly literally hanging down and hanging so low. Baby has always been low and never really moved out of my pelvis so it's been really fun- HA. And not to mention the sudden knowledge of gestational diabetes and becoming higher risk. Also knowing that from now on I have a higher chance of developing diabetes later on in life, and having to be checked yearly. The many finger pricks, the holding back on my cravings for healthier options, or giving in and feeling a little guilty. The many drs visits and many ultrasounds to check on baby. 


It's been a crazy ride. It's felt like an eternity for so many reasons- but our time has FINALLY come! I almost cried when we picked an induction date. It was becoming real. We are having another BABY! We will know what it is and be able to announce the name. I will be able to walk, breathe, eat normally again. It's all SO bittersweet! And I think I'm ready more than I ever was with my other two. We pray this baby knows just how much their family loves them and how much God loves them.